ThothLestat's Vampire Journal

ThothLestat's Journal

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TRAINED
21:07 Nov 19 2013
Times Read: 494

The wife -- the ravishing Mrs Thothythoth -- is used to it by now, but at first she was puzzled by the fact that I speak to our pets. She would come downstairs in the morning convinced that I had been speaking to someone on the phone.

"Who were you talking to?" she would ask.

"The dog." I would reply.

"No," she would insist, "you were having a conversation with someone."

"Hardly," I would mutter, "the dog always interrupts me. And he rolls his eyes at me. He's so rude..."

and so it goes, dear reader.

As I said, she is used to it now. The other day, she was in another room and she overheard our conversation...

"Did I just hear you give the dog a detailed schedule for the day?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied, "he's very interested in brunch and has requested extra bacon. Then we have a long walk planned at 1pm, followed by a brief nap while I do yardwork. Another walk is planned at 4pm, followed by a light snack and cocktails. Dinner is at 6:30pm. And I told him I was going to take him out at midnight to watch the Leonid Meteor Shower."

Her response to me is almost always a variation on this:

"You are so retarded."

But.

But, dear reader, listen to me: I think the dog understands everything we say. EVERYTHING. And I believe the ravishing Mrs Thothythoth knows this.

The other morning, I was drinking coffee in the kitchen and I heard her quietly talking to the dog in the hallway by the front door:

"Now listen to me, we're going to go to the back yard. You are going to take care of business and you are not -- you are NOT -- going to chase the neighbor's cat. Got it? Good."

I have trained them well.

COMMENTS

ivytamwood
21:11 Nov 19 2013

i believe it. our dogs are very smart and very receptive to whatever we say. dogs understand language

Lylia
23:13 Nov 19 2013

~nods

Good job.

Morrigon
02:51 Nov 20 2013

I do so enjoy conversing with the dogs... However I fear that Pai is a bit of a prude because he takes serious offense to curse words, which I use often. Any advice?

Vampirewitch39
16:31 Nov 20 2013

lol

:)

My dogs always understand a few words-

bacon

bath

pee time

Let's go to bed *runs and beats me to it*

NO *as they still do whatever got me to say it, looking at me like I am speaking cat instead of dog*

Good dog *usually gets a look of "of course, silly woman duh!"*

Love my little puppy... *follow by hugs, kisses*

And how doesn't enjoy the tail wag, happy to see you welcome you get from them? :D